the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Randomize
