i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I died a long time ago.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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