im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
