Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
