people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
