so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
