where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
