Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
