there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
