I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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