Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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