So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't think brook has ever known best
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
