I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize