The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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