We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
