Swine flu is the new snow day.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Did I show you my penis last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
