Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
