i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
