I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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