My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
