Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
