Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
