Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
