doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
