you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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