i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize