He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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