The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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