other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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