Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize