if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
