Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
