we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
