My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
