either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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