haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize