piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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