I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
