i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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