and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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