so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
