I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
