sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
pray to the hookup gods
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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