What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
