Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
