so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
