First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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