hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
