I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
