So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
