just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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