I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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