How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
