are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
