She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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