I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When did angry sex become our thing?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
