I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
