Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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