Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
