So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
