Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
